The NBA Slam Dunk Contest Has Lost It's Luster

The 2012 NBA All-Star Slam Dunk Contest was one of the worst things I think I've ever watched when it comes to sports, and it's by far the worst dunk contest I've ever witnessed. The reason? No superstars. For goodness sake, Jeremy Evans won. Who? Yeah, I didn't know who he was either until I googled him a few days before the competition. He's a small forward on the Jazz who averages 1.7 ppg in less than six minutes per contest. The other competitors were 3 point shooting white boy Chase Budinger, first round pick Derrick Williams, and honestly, as I write this, I can't remember who the other competitor was.

And therein lies the problem. People don't pay attention because they aren't seeing the best-of-the-best in what is one of the most fun spectacless in all of professional sports- when it's done right. The Slam Dunk Contest isn't going to be big again until we see LeBron James in it. He's the most high profile athlete in the NBA, and has yet to compete. Blake Griffin didn't even defend his title. Here's my ideal "NBA Slam Dunk Contest" lineup, if I had to make one right now. I want to see the best of the best:

LeBron James- He's easily the most athletic player in the NBA, and would bring the house down with his speed and power on his dunks.

Russell Westbrook- Arguably the fastest and most athletic guard in the NBA, Westbrook has no problem throwing down with creativity at any time.

Blake Griffin- As long as I reference Lob City, you should know what that encompasses. Blake Griffin is big, strong, and throws down with incredible force and does it regularly. He's a physical beast.

Josh Smith- J-Smoov needs to rep the ATL in a Slam Dunk Contest. He's one of the most athletic players in the NBA and can throw down with the best of them. He needs to redeem himself after his poor performance in the 2005 Slam Dunk Contest.

That's who I'd like to see, but it's just as much about the format of the contest as it is who is in it. This year, the NBA decided to take away the judges and make it a 100% fan vote. I don't know about the rest of you, but I liked seeing what the judges thought of the dunks. They set a sort of benchmark for the viewers to agree or disagree with, which made it a lot more fun to discuss and talk about as a fan.

The Slam Dunk Contest also repeatedly changed formats in the past few years. In 2007, each dunker had two dunks in the first round, with the two highest scoring dunkers moving to a final, where they had two more dunks, with the highest judged score as the champion. In 2008, the NBA completely shifted it's voting and put the champion in the fans hands. While I'm all for fan-voting, this was a bad decision in my opinion. It took away from the "expertise" that the judges possessed, and put it into the hands of fans who are swayed as much by presentation as they are the actual dunk.

This was evident in 2009 when Nate Robinson beat out Dwight Howard despite Dwight's perfect scores in the first round and an awesome one handed jam off the side of the backboard. Robinson dunked "over" Howard for his final dunk, pushing off of his back and bending Howard forward. However, the fans were swayed by "the short guy" and picked Robinson, who's night wasn't nearly as impressive. I'm all for a return of the judges and omitting a fan vote.

The current format of the Slam Dunk Contest allows for repeated misses on attempts. I get tired of seeing the same dunk attempt where the competitor keeps missing over and over again; the dunk loses it's luster, even if they do final get it in. The Slam Dunk Contest used to make for competitors with much more precision, making the dunks more fun to watch and more impressive. Let's go back to the "miss it and you're done" format. Make it, or sit down.

Lastly, the dunk contest has now become just as much about before the dunk presentation as the dunk itself. Last I checked, it's called the NBA Slam Dunk Contest, not the NBA Before the Slam Dunk Contest. Blake Griffin, I'm looking at you. I don't need a show choir to hype your dunk over a car up any more. It wasn't even that impressive. Show me something more creative than catching an oop and putting it in. At least get a windmill in or something. I want to see creative.

The NBA needs to look back at what made it's slam dunk contests fun to watch in the first place:
1) Superstars competing against other superstars
2) Simple voting by a knowledgeable panel
3) No repeat dunk attempts
4) Making it about the dunk, not the presentation.

Once we see these return, I think people will actually start caring about one of the most fun spectacles to witness in pro sports.

“Linsanity” and the Best Nicknames in the NBA

Jeremy Lin’s sudden success has sparked a great number of nicknames in the short time that he has come on to the scene, which brings up one of the more fun columns I’ve ever written. What are some of the best nicknames in the NBA? Let’s take a look at some of my favorites.

Jeremy Lin – “Linsanity”, “The Lin Dynasty”,   “The Asian Sensation”, “Super Lintendo”: Linsanity is the most popular, it’s a blatant rip off of Vince Carter’s “Vinsanity”. Cheers to the more creative nicknames I’ve seen; a few are listed above. He’s burst on the scene, and can hopefully keep up his productive play. He’s captured audiences around the world, so much so that people were waking up early in China to catch Lin play the Raptors on Tuesday night. Despite his success, he admittedly has to reduce his number of turnovers. I don’t want to call him “ButterLINgers”, but he’s averaging 6.0 turnovers in his five starts. Here's a little more Linsanity for you, as if you haven't seen this 1000 times on ESPN over the past 24 hours.

LeBron James – “King James”: LeBron James is arguably the best player in the NBA, and he’s proven it with his stats. Always a triple double threat, LeBron been one of the most complete players in the NBA since his arrival on the scene in 2003. Back when he was still on the Cleveland Cavaliers, LeBron won 2 NBA MVP awards, the Rookie of the Year award, and was twice the MVP of the NBA All-Star Game. Not to mention he’s an 8-time NBA All-Star.

Andre Kirilenko – “AK47”: Definitely the most fitting nickname, and perhaps the most punny of all, Kirilenko holds one of the most functional nicknames in the NBA. His cleverly chose the number 47, and is from Russia, so a fitting nickname of AK47 was born. He came into the league known as a deadly shooter (pun intended), never a physical guy, despite his length; He’s a full 6’9”.

Kobe Bryant – “Black Mamba”: Kobe Bryant explained the self-proclaimed nickname to ESPN, saying “The mamba can strike with 99% accuracy at maximum speed, in rapid succession. That's the kind of basketball precision I want to have.” Yep, that sounds like Kobe. 

Dwight Howard – “Superman”: Did he steal it from Shaq? I don’t really care, because after this dunk the name stuck.

No one has gone further to make themselves a nickname than Dwight Howard did, going into the phone booth and changing into his Superman cape, then dunking on a 12 foot rim, something no one else in the NBA can do. Superman. 

Nate Robinson “KrypoNate”: After Dwight Howard changed into his Superman cape at the 2009 NBA Slam Dunk Contest, Nate Robinson came out in a full green Knicks Jersey, complete with Kryptonite green sneakers and a kryptonite colored basketball. He then dunked OVER Dwight Howard, all 5’9” of him.

Brian Scalabrine – “White Mamba”: No white guy in the NBA gets more fan love than Brian Scalabrine. He’s one of the worst players in the NBA, averaging 1.3 ppg and barely ever plays, unless it’s garbage time. However, when he does come in, the Chicago (or wherever he plays at the time) fan base goes berserk for the White Mamba. His NBA highlight video is complete with a few generic assists and layups—pretty stellar.

Serge Ibaka – “Iblocka”, “Air Congo”: Shotblocker (n): see Serge Ibaka. He’s easily the best shot blocker in the NBA, and has twice racked up 10 blocks in a game this season. Both in February, in fact. When he blocks a shot, it’s not uncommon to hear “IBLOCKA!” From people in the crowd at Thunder games. “Air Congo” comes from his incredible leaping ability, like his dunk from the free throw line in the 2011 NBA Slam Dunk Contest:

Chris “Birdman” Andersen: One look at the tatted up man with the spikey hair and the nickname stuck. Birdman has tattoos over his entire body, and his Mohawk really enhances that feel. He’s a physical, tall guy, and plays with a tough demeanor. He’s not the type of guy you’d want to meet in the back alley behind your local bar, let’s just put it that way. 

Vince Carter – Vinsanity: Sorry, Jeremy Lin, he was here first. But that was back when he a perennial All-Star… No one really calls his 10.6 ppg and 3 rebounds in 2012 “Vinsanity”.  From 1999-2009 though, Carter still averaged well over 20 points per game, as one of the best pure scorers in the NBA.

Ron Artest aka Metta World Peace: He changed his name to reflect “World Peace”, but Ron Artest is hardly the best advocate for such an issue. A more fitting nickname would be “Mr. Malice” after his actions during the Malice at the Palace Brawl, where he attacked a fan in the stands during one of the most scarring events the NBA has ever been associated with. It’s kind of fun to hear Mike Brown yell “World Peace! World Peace!” on the sidelines of Lakers games, though.

Did I miss one? Comment with some of your favorite nicknames if I didn't mention them!

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